How to Save a Life
by flamencochic
Summary: My song fic muse is depressed and wanted to do a chapter story. It's angsty and deals with sensitive subject matter.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N - **They're not mine, I'm not making any money, and I don't know what I'm doing either. This wouldn't be half as good as it is without Kate's (MMO) help. I don't know how she puts up with my neuroses. She is the Beta of all Beta's. And thanks to Annie and Kat for listening to me whine.

**How to Save a Life**

**By - Laura**

**Step one you say we need to talk**

**He walks you say sit down it's just a talk**

**He smiles politely back at you**

**You stare politely right on through**

**Some sort of window to your right**

**As he goes left and you stay right**

**Between the lines of fear and blame**

**And you begin to wonder why you came**

**Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend**

**Somewhere along in the bitterness**

**And I would have stayed up with you all night**

**Had I known how to save a life**

**Let him know that you know best**

**Cause after all you do know best**

**Try to slip past his defense**

**Without granting innocence**

**Lay down a list of what is wrong**

**The things you've told him all along**

**And pray to God he hears you**

**And pray to God he hears you**

**Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend**

**Somewhere along in the bitterness**

**And I would have stayed up with you all night**

**Had I known how to save a life**

**As he begins to raise his voice**

**You lower yours and grant him one last choice**

**Drive until you lose the road**

**Or break with the ones you've followed**

**He will do one of two things**

**He will admit to everything**

**Or he'll say he's just not the same**

**And you'll begin to wonder why you came**

**Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend**

**Somewhere along in the bitterness**

**And I would have stayed up with you all night**

**Had I known how to save a life**

**"How to Save A Life" - The Fray**

Sitting in the airplane, Ranger realized exactly how tired he was. He didn't want to move. Just the thought of getting his duffle out of the overhead bin was enough to make him want to weep with fatigue. And he still had to navigate the airport and make his way to the ride waiting for him. At least he didn't have to drive.

He was getting too old for this shit. Maybe it was time to think about changing the focus of his government contract. Do a little more of the planning and a little less of the actual implementation. It was something to think about anyway.

All of that was beside the point, just standing up was going to be a major feat. Never being one to put anything off, he stood and got his bag down. Standing in line waiting to disembark he began to go over everything that was going to need his attention. What he really needed was a vacation. Maybe he would talk Steph into going someplace with him.

Just the thought of his Babe was enough to put a smile on his face. He was looking forward to seeing her and hearing about what was going on in her life. But first, he had to get back to Trenton.

As he made his way to the black Ford Expedition waiting for him, he thought about calling Steph but decided against it. She'd know he was back soon enough. Being incommunicado for the last year and a half, he had no idea what was going on. All of that could wait until he was a little more rested and aware.

If he had been less fatigued and a little more aware of his surroundings, Ranger would have noticed something was up the minute he got in the vehicle. As it was, he barely got buckled in before he fell asleep. He slept the entire hour and a half it took to get to the offices from Newark, which was unusual for him. When they reached the garage he jerked awake as the vehicle stopped. Without a word he grabbed his duffle and made his way to the elevator.

OOOOOOOOOO

The next morning, when he woke up, every muscle in his body ached. He had forgotten what the effects of extreme fatigue felt like. There was nothing for it but to get moving, so he got up and in the shower. While he let the hot water beat some of the ache out he started thinking about last night.

That was the quietest reception he had ever received, especially for being on such a long mission. Usually he had to beat the guys off with a stick. He was also surprised that Steph wasn't there. Surely someone would have called her when they realized he was in town? Had something happened? Was she all right? That thought more than any other got him moving. He needed to make sure she was OK.

Staring at the clothes in his closet Ranger noticed something else was different. Steph didn't have any clothes in here. Before he'd left for this latest mission she'd kept a couple of extra uniforms and maybe a distraction outfit in his closet for emergencies. They were all gone. After pulling on a pair of cargos and t-shirt he started observing what else was different in the apartment.

The apartment was sterile. No one had been in it for months. There was nothing that said it had been used for anything, not even the occasional shower, which is what he would have expected if Steph were still working for RangeMan. Now he was really concerned. Maybe she went back to Morelli. God he hoped not, but could he really blame her? Thinking back, he remembered the last time he saw Steph before leaving.

_It was two in the morning when Ranger let himself into Steph's apartment. Pausing in the entryway he relaxed. A certain peace always seemed to settle over him when he was in Steph's space__ It was something that he had learned not to question. The low hum of the refrigerator was a constant background to Rex on his nightly run. If only Steph were half as dedicated to running as her hamster he wouldn't worry so much about her health. _

_Quietly making his way down the hall to her bedroom he paused to listen at the door. Not hearing anything he eased the door open and leaned against the doorframe. He couldn't count the times he stood here, watching her sleep. It satisfied some need deep within him. Unfortunately he didn't have time for that luxury tonight but he was going to indulge himself briefly anyway. Some things were more important._

_Making his way across the room he knelt at the head of the bed. Reaching out he twined a riotous curl around his finger. He loved her hair. It was like her, so full of life and hard to control. _

_"Mmmm… Ranger?" Her voice was sleep roughened causing blood to pool in his groin. "What are you doing here?"_

_"Shh… Babe. Go back to sleep." He couldn't do it. This was a bad idea. All it did was make him want what he couldn't have. Everything he ever wanted was lying there in that bed and he was getting ready to walk away from it._

_"Ranger? What's going on?" He really didn't want to do this but she deserved to know. This was his last chance. Now was not the time to be a coward._

_"I- shit. I've been called in."_

_"You're leaving?" She was awake now and was looking like she might panic. Sitting on the edge of the bed he pulled her into his lap. Tucking her head beneath his chin he wrapped his arms around her. He wouldn't be able to leave if he saw her cry and not leaving wasn't an option. "Can't you tell them no? How long will you be gone?"_

_"I have to go, Babe. I don't know how long I'm going to be gone but I had to see you before I left." God, this is harder than he thought it was going to be. How do you tell someone you don't think you'll be coming back? That you expect to die? Tunneling his fingers in her hair he rocked her gently in his arms. He wasn't sure who he was trying to comfort, Steph or himself._

"_When are you leaving?" She pulled back just enough to see his face. Steph was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen and she didn't even realize it. He stared at her trying to memorize her face._

_"In a few minutes. Tank is downstairs waiting for me." He touched his finger to her lips to keep what she was going to say quiet. "Shhh, just let me look at you before I go." His hand curved around her face gently tracing the contours. Her skin was so smooth, it felt soft and warm beneath his fingers. His heart ached that he was leaving her behind and might never get the chance to hold her again. _

_Her lips were so soft, he loved the way they tilted up when she smiled but that beautiful smile was far from her lips at the moment. She was distressed that he was leaving. She had the bluest eyes he had ever seen, they could change between a soft baby blue when she was laughing to a deep sapphire when she was spitting mad or aroused._ _Right now they were clouded with misery._

_He cleared his throat, refusing to submit to emotion._

_"Stay safe. Call Tank if you need anything." He tilted her head gently until his eyes held hers, "Promise me." When she nodded he pressed a hard kiss to her lips, got up and left without looking back. If he looked back and saw her crying he wouldn't be able to keep it together. _

Forcing himself from the memory, Ranger decided to forego breakfast for information. He finished dressing and headed down to the control room.

**TBC…**

**Please, please review. My inner muse says she's starving and who am I to argue. Besides the voices are starting to talk to each other and that is never a good thing.**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N - **They're still not mine, I'm still not making any money and I have yet to get a clue. Angst and tissue warnings abound. I know, I know I'm bad but what can I say? You still have Kate (MMO) to thank for any coherency and I'm still whining to Annie and Kat. Did y'all know that Mud has a link to just about anything and everything you could possibly need or want to know?

**Chapter 2**

Heading to his office from the elevator, Ranger wove his way through the control room ignoring the men at their workstations. The aisles between blocks of cubicles seemed wider for some reason. It gave the room a feeling of spaciousness that it hadn't had in the past.

It seemed awfully quiet as well. There was none of the joking and camaraderie he had grown used to in the past couple years. Stephanie had a way of bringing a joie de vivre to everything she came in contact with, and that was now missing. Each of the changes taken separately were not that big, but taken together they painted a picture he was not liking at all. It was more important than ever that he get up to speed as quickly as possible.

Once inside his office he hit a couple of buttons on his desk phone. "Tank, Lester, Bobby. My office, 10 minutes." Not expecting a reply he sat down and began going through the monthly reports on his desk.

Exactly 10 minutes later all three men came into the office. It was a good thing he was sitting down, if he hadn't been he would have fallen. He just stared at his friend not able to form any words. What had Ranger completely shocked was the fact that Lester was in a wheelchair. It wasn't a temporary one you get when you've busted a leg either. It was a custom chair; Lester was in it for the duration.

Ranger was completely unprepared for the sight before him. "What's going on? What happened?" He demanded. "Explain." Indicating he meant Lester in his chair.

"Rangeman, this isn't how you were supposed to find out. We were expecting you to take the day off or at least call us up to the penthouse before you showed yourself." Lester calmly wheeled himself beside the two club chairs in front of Ranger's desk. "It happened about 6 months ago. Steph acquired another stalker. This time it went south."

"That's one of the things we need to bring you up to speed about." Tank sat in the chair next to the window waiting for Ranger to come to terms with the changes in his friend. "There are a few things that have happened since you've been gone. Obviously, Lester here is one of the biggest."

"Tank, how many times have I told you to quit talking about the size of my dick? I know you're jealous but man you need to get over it." Bobby smacked Lester on the back of the head as he took the remaining seat. That bit of normal nonsense out of Lester and Bobby was enough to get Ranger to shake off his stupor.

"Talk."

"We were in guard mode. He didn't seem violent, just a pain in the ass so I wasn't wearing a vest. It was my day to spend with her. Everything was fine, it was just like any other day." Lester's voice may have been calm, matter-of-fact even, but the tension around his eyes and the set of his shoulders told a different story. "I was going to escort her inside the mall while Brett stayed with the vehicle. I got out of the car and was helping her out of the back when the asshole fired on us. I got her on the ground and covered her, more like collapsed on top of her but the results were the same, while Brett returned fire. I took two in the back, one of which nicked my spine. Steph was hit in the shoulder."

"Who is your physician? Do we need to call in a specialist?" All Ranger could think to do was work the problem. This was his friend, they'd been through some ugly shit and always come out the other side. "What about PT? Did they tell you what your chances of walking again were? I need to check the insurance coverage. RangeMan will cover all your medical expenses."

"It's already taken care of man. We knew when we got started in this business that something like this could and probably would happen." Ranger had never in his life felt so helpless. It wasn't a feeling he was used to or enjoyed, "We have some of the best insurance in the business. You know that. Don't worry about me. I got it covered. I'm seeing one of the best doctors on the eastern seaboard. I'm doing PT and seeing a therapist, so just chill." It didn't escape Ranger's attention that he said nothing about his future chances of walking but he decided to let it drop for now.

"I can't just sit here and do nothing. There has to be something I can do."

"Ranger. You know, as well as I do, that life is a war. To survive is a struggle. This is my struggle not yours. As owner of RangeMan you made sure that the contingencies were covered. All you can do now is be my friend. I'm still the same asshole you grew up with, it's just that now I have this really cool set of fancy wheels." It was time to move on, they had a lot of ground to cover.

Tank took over the conversation so they could get the business out of the way. He knew what was on Ranger's mind and that had to come last because he wasn't sure how he would react. "Due to Les' change in status we did some hiring and rearranged some of the duties. He is now in charge of all research and monitoring. He also does off site surveillance. We had to hire two men to replace him in the field and another two to replace Bombshell." Tank put his hand up to forestall the questions he knew Ranger wanted to ask, "We'll get to that let's just finish this." At a curt nod from Ranger Tank continued.

"Don't forget somehow I get stuck with all the damn paperwork too. That's what really sucks." Lester grumbled under his breath.

Ignoring Lester, Tank went on, "Bobby got his physical therapist's license. It just made sense. Not only for Les, but we have our share of other injuries that require it as well. I didn't want to have to keep sending the guys off site, too many people ask too many questions."

The longer Ranger sat and listened to his men the more he realized that nothing had really changed. Bobby was still content to be quiet and let the other men take the lead in meetings. Tank was all business and Lester… well, Lester was still a smart ass who hated paperwork. It went a long way to making him feel better about Lester's situation.

Taking a deep breath now that a part of him had calmed knowing Lester would ultimately be ok, he set the conversation on a new track. He hoped he would finally be getting his answers concerning Steph. He still needed to know what had happened to her and why she is now MIA. "You said Steph was shot. Is she OK?"

"Her shoulder healed fine. She had some pain but there was no excessive damage. She was on restricted duty for a couple of weeks and had some PT. It was nothing out of the normal for her injury." Bobby finally began to contribute to the conversation. "I wanted her to get some therapy but she wouldn't go for it."

"Therapy? Why would she need therapy? It's not like this is the first time she's been shot." With a look at Lester, it dawned on him.

"She blames herself for Lester." Bobby said.

**TBC…**

**I really want to be able to do my Sally Field impression. "You like me. You really, really like me!" But I can't do it without reviews. Do I need to spell it out?**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N** - You all know the drill. Not mine, not making any money, haven't a clue what's going on. If my drabble makes any sense it's because of Kate (MMO). If I have anything resembling a plot it's because of Annie and Kat. If I even remotely sound like I know what I'm talking about it's because of Mud.

**Chapter Three**

Ranger couldn't imagine what his Babe was going through. She was strong, but she didn't have the mental training he and his men had gone through. Denial and avoidance will only get you so far. 

All the other times someone was injured while guarding or helping her they made a full recovery. He'd been shot more than once helping her. Hell, Tank broke a leg and got blown up working with her and she was alright. 

What he couldn't understand was why she had refused therapy? Why did she decide she had to do this on her own? There had to be more to the story. He needed to find out what was going through that gorgeous head of hers.

"Start from the beginning. How was she after I left?" Maybe something happened before this latest stalker. He needed more information.

There was a tap on the door and Hal poked his head through. "Sorry to disturb you guys but Tank wanted me to let him know if there was any movement on…"

"We'll be down in five Hal." Tank interrupted as he and Bobby stood up. 

"Bobby and I have to go. We've been waiting for this scum bag to show for a week. If we don't get him in the system by tonight we forfeit the bond." Tank turned at the door as Bobby made his way to the elevator. "Lester can fill you in on what's up with Steph better than the rest of us. It's good to have you back Rangeman." Tank left closing the door behind him.

At a glance from Ranger Lester started talking.

"She was pretty depressed for the first week or so, but that wasn't really anything unusual." Lester paused, rocking his wheels back and forth, trying to think of anything, that he could put his finger on, that was different this time. "We did like we normally do when you go 'in the wind'. We keep a closer eye on her for the first couple of weeks, maybe hang out a little more. It seemed to blow over like it usually does."

"What do you mean 'it seemed' to blow over like usual? What was different?" Ranger didn't like the sound of this, he also didn't know what to make of this new nervous habit Lester had. Was the gentle rock of his chair the equivalent to Lester pacing or, maybe, fidgeting?

"Everything was just… more somehow." Lester sounded a little unsure. "More intense, like maybe she knew you didn't expect to come back." He looked at Ranger to gauge his reaction. If Lester hadn't known Ranger since they were kids he would have missed the look in his eyes. Not quite guilt but, regret maybe?

"I started hanging with her more on my days off and after my shifts. We'd go to dinner maybe the occasional movie. We got really close." At Rangers darkening face he was quick explain. "She just needed a friend man. For all intents and purposes her best friend, her sole support system," that got him a quirked eyebrow, as Ranger leaned back in his seat, "had left, never to return for all she knew. How was she to know you really were Batman?" 

"I am _not_ Batman."

"Please, you know you love the fact that's how she thinks. Don't try and tell me otherwise. I know better." With a flat look from Ranger, Lester got back on track.

"I was really worried about her for a while. It's like she just stopped caring. All the guys were worried about her. A couple of us decided to start training her without her really noticing." That got a ghost of a smile. "We just had to find things she liked to do. We'd take her dancing a few times a week. Find restaurants that served healthy food but didn't make her think of your twigs and leaves. Hell, we even took her to some WWE bouts to show her which moves would work and which ones wouldn't."

His men must have been seriously worried if they took that kind of time with her. Maybe he'd been doing her a disservice all these years. He was the one who said he'd be her Professor Higgins. He fell down on the job. If he had trained her properly it wouldn't have fallen to his men. Ranger got up from his desk and moved to the window over looking Trenton. He needed to hear the rest of it so that he would know just how much of this was his fault. 

"So what happened? Was it a skip or something else?" When he was sure that Steph was going to be OK, Ranger was going to go offline to do a little hunting. The kind of hunting that you didn't tell anyone about. Not if you wanted to stay out of jail anyway.

"Not a skip this time. It was some fruit loop who had a hard on for Steph thinking she was stealing his sister's man." Ranger spun around to look at Lester. There was something in his voice that told Rangerhe wasn't hearing the whole story. Sure enough, there was guilt written all over Lester's face and he was fast wearing a rut in the carpet with his short rolling motion. It confirmed Ranger's initial suspicion, that the motion was an indication of his state of mind. He did it when he was intensely uncomfortable. It was the equivalent of the pace Lester had never been able to train himself out of before his confinement to the chair.

"Don't tell me. Not one of yours?" That was just priceless. Running his hands through his hair Ranger sat in the chair next to Lester. Knowing he didn't want to hear what was coming but also knowing he didn't have a choice, Ranger waited for him to pick up the thread of his story. 

"I had no idea the woman I picked up that night at Piangi's had a brother, let alone that he was a couple of bullets short of a full clip." Really, if he was going to be fair, Lester was right. You can't expect a guy to do a full background check on someone who doesn't amount to more than a casual date, or, in the case of Lester, lay. 

Lester's hands ran back and forth on his wheels again. Ranger didn't know how he was going to get used to Lester's new habit. Hopefully it was just temporary. It was more distracting than Steph's fidgeting on a surveillance shift. Ranger's thought of Steph diverted him away from the rocking motion of Lester's chair and back to the facts he had to ascertain. "Explain." 

"I only went out with her a couple of times. Hell, you know what I'm like. Life's too short to settle for just one." The one thing that hadn't changed was Lester's cocksure grin when it came to women. Lester always was a playboy. Some how Ranger didn't think him being in a chair was going to change that. "Next thing I find out, Steph's got another stalker. It wasn't until after the shooting that we found out who it was, and by then he was long gone."

"Why didn't we catch him?" Ranger demanded,shooting Lester a sharp look. There should have been men swarming all over that parking lot within minutes of getting the call.

"We were stretched pretty thin, Rangeman. Everyone we could spare was on site but they were focused more on me and Steph than anything else." It was in the past and nothing would come of busting Lester's balls over it but it didn't mean he was any less frustrated. He knew his men had done what needed to be done. He was just feeling guilty because none of this would have happened had he been here. "Then afterwards we were even more shorthanded. We were down one field operative and the best researcher we have. Not to mention Bobby was spending most of his time with me and Steph."

"Keep going." He knew this was going to be painful for his friend but it was necessary. Not only so that he could find out what was going on with Steph, but also so that he could get caught up with Lester. 

"I spent the next 4 months in the hospital. It's a good thing I was in shape or I wouldn't be as far along as I am." Lester saw the look on Ranger's face even though it was only there for a split second and knew he had to nip that thought in the bud. His feeling guilty was not going to help the situation. "Ranger, man you know there's nothing you could have done. Right? If you'd still been here it might be you in this chair not me. I don't blame anyone anymore. Not you, me or Steph. Shit happens. It's a hazard of the business we're in. So just don't even go there."

"Finish it Lester." Ranger knew his friend was right but that didn't change anything. Best to just move on for now. Leaning forward with his hands clasped between his knees, his elbows resting on his thighs, he gave Lester his full attention.

"At first Steph would come and visit me everyday. She came even when I wasn't the best of company." Lester still felt bad about some of the things he said but that was between him and Steph. "After a while her visits tapered off. I just though she was getting back into the swing of things. You know? It wasn't until I got out of the hospital that I found out she had quit. Unfortunately, I was still pretty occupied with getting my shit together and we were short handed so we probably haven't kept the best tabs on her recently." 

"That was to be expected. I'll take care of Steph now. You just need to worry about getting healthy. Whatever you need. Just ask, it's yours." 

"There was never a question in my mind. I'll have the ladies just asking for a ride before you know it." The grin was back and his rocking had stopped. This was the most serious Ranger had seen Lester in years. That was very telling in its own way. 

Ranger walked with Lester to the door. Next on the list was to talk to Steph. At the door Lester paused, "Find out what's up with her. I need to talk to her but she won't return my calls. Bring her back to us man, we miss her."

**TBC…**

**Please, please for the love of all that is holy make the voices quit. Only you the reviewer can do it. Please, my sanity is at stake.** _Hush, I told you to be quiet in there. I'm not warning you again._


End file.
